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Cat Dowsing
by Felix Purfect

For hundreds of years dowsers have relied on their trusty twigs to help them seek out water and other precious commodities.

Dowsing Cats (Reconstruction)

But for the first time scientists in London, England have been experimenting with cats in their quest to find the perfect dowsing tool.

Professor Laurence Knipp told Is This Proof?, "We tried various items to see what sort of results we would get, but nothing seemed to be be as good as the old hazel stick. Then one of the members of the team just happened to mention that cats have a natural aversion towards water".

The team of twelve highly respected researchers based at University College London has been working on Project Water Seek for seven years, funded by a anonymous benefactor in Crewe.

"Any kind of cat will do." said Professor Knipp. "The secret is to try and get two closely related felines such as brothers or sisters or parents and children. You need to hold one cat in each hand closely together in front of you. Then move slowly forward over the area you are investigating. If the cats suddenly jump apart, then you can be sure that there is water below."

This latest finding has already got the scientific world buzzing and Channel 4 is planning a special live experiment over the summer during its 'Cat Lovers' season. A spokesperson for Channel 4 told Is This Proof?, "People are going to see cats in a whole new light. Since time began man has used dogs as his trusty working pet, now perhaps the time has come for working cats to be the norm."
A spokesman for the BBC refused to comment on rumours that One Man And His Dog would be replaced by One Woman and Her Pussy.

Stop Press...Stop Press...Stop Press...Stop Press...

As Is This Proof? went to press the RSPCA issued a statement saying that the idea of using cats to find water wasn't new. "The Egyptians were at it all the time", said spokesperson Frank Leigh.